Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Traffic School and Baby Animals, The End

Reader, I've finished traffic school and passed my "test." If you need to catch up on my foray into law breaking and my efforts to wipe the proverbial slate clean, and you really should, you can do so here, here, and here.

The online traffic school had seventeen separate modules and quizzes about all the aspects of driving safety you could never ever want to learn about. Peppered through each module were pieces of a story about some girl named Anna and the details of her day. For example, stuck right in the middle of the module on speed limits would be the line, "Anna had eggs for breakfast." Later, in the drugs and alcohol section, "Anna had diet soda with lunch." Etc.

At the time I didn't pay much attention/didn't quite understand what they were doing there, but when I logged onto the final exam, sixteen of the forty questions were about Anna. I spent more time combing through the modules trying to find out what kind of car Anna drove and her dream vacation destination than I did on driving safety.

If only I had known what a sham online traffic school was I never would have spent as much time as I did reading all the modules and taking all the quizzes. Perhaps embedding these questions is their way of forcing you to have some interaction with the content but boy it irritated the hell out of me. An irritation that can only be soothed by the balm of baby animals.

Here's a home grown one. Isn't she stinkin' adorable?

Some of you know Nellie. She's the formerly feral kitty of Potrero Hill. She looks innocent here but if you know Nellie, you know she grew up to be a murderess of the highest order. No bird or small or medium-sized mammal is safe when Nellie's around.

For example, this little creature would be dispatched in a trice, cute bunneh feet and all.

Agh, those feet! I die.

You must go look at this mama and baby orangutan montage. It is sweetness.

This concludes our series on traffic school, because really? Zzzzzzzzzzz. But this will not be the last you see of baby animals.


april m. said...

those feet are ridiculous!!

Professional Critic said...

Aren't they amazing? The contrast of the fat belly and the little feet, lordy. Makes the idea of carrying around a rabbit foot really disgusting. They belong on the bunny, not on the key chain.