Monday, March 30, 2009

Attend Traffic School with Professional Critic, Part I

Reader, you may have heard about my recent brush with the law as I raced to TJ Maxx. Well, Jesus was right, I did hear from the court soon after that with my citation. So I wrote the Superior Court a check for (ouch) $305. Reader, be ye careful on windy roads in small affluent crime-free towns, as the cops have precious little to do and will pull your ass over.

Because this was my first speeding ticket and I was going less than 20 miles per hour over the speed limit, I am doing online traffic school to get the point off my record or something like that and guess what?! I have already learned something!! It is against the law to: Smoke a cigarette, pipe, or cigar when a minor is inside the vehicle, whether the vehicle is on or off. The fine can be up to $100.00. (California Health & Safety Code Section 118948)

Was this true in the 70s? I don't think so. What should have been illegal but also probably wasn't: Dad smoking a pipe while Mom smoked a cigarette and painted her nails in the car. They deserved every upchuck I ever gave them. Sorry, sisters.

Also, pay attention: NEVER let your car roll down a hill.

Aren't you a better driver already? I know I am. Stay tuned for additional helpful driving tips as I make my way through this course over the next few weeks.

Apropos of nothing, here's a baby clouded leopard from my new favorite website, ZooBorns:

Baby otter goes nigh nigh in crook of arm:

Really, I could do this all day. How about this: every time I post about riveting traffic school, I will reward us all with some bebeh animal pictures that will make you grit your teeth with adorableness?

It's a deal.


Anonymous said...

That's the best deal anyone's offered me all week! Thanks, PC!
~ Urban Farmer

april m. said...

agreed!! i hope traffic school slash cuteness slash learning with PC happens all year long!!

Professional Critic said...

Yay! Glad you approve. The otter just kills me, GAH.

Traffic School said...

Very interesting post, indeed. Thanks for sharing.