Live Blogging the Emmys

7:04 pm What it is, reader! As promised, I totally forgot until now to tune into the Emmys. I've just dropped into streaming and it's George Clooney looking dapper, but I am not sure what he's on about.

7:05 Uh, is this even The Emmys? It's like movie miniseries, I guess. Oh yeah, I saw part of that movie about Temple Grandin. Claire Danes did a good job in it. Oh, and that show about Kervorkian, which I did want to see. Lord, I haven't seen any of these things. OH GOD, January Jones, I HATE THAT DRESS! Judy Jetson goes to the prom. And you're annoying.

7:07 I like that Julia Ormond although that dress is also a thumbs down. She looks like she's being attacked by a rogue envelope. I don't like John Krasinksi in a bow tie one little bit.

7:09 I'm bored and going to go out for a run. Catch you later, reader.

7:14 Still here just to mention that Claire Danes looks pretty but that doesn't change the fact that her shilling Latisse is completely weird.

8:02 Back. I ran for 25 minutes, personal best for Professional Critic!. What happened to the live stream? Hmm. Are the Emmys over already? Checking to see if I can find another stream, the one from Chile went bye bye.

8:08 Here it is, voiced over in Spanish. Sophia Vergara looks terrific. Did I spell that right? There's some little bit about whether funny is sexy, which duh.Modern Family is winning something. I find this show so-so but they seem psyched to have won. Good on them.

8:13 Stephen Colbert! Love. He's presenting best supporting actress in a comedy. Tough competition but Jane Lynch takes it, and deserves it. She's hilarious in Glee. I'm not sure if this is sexist or transphobic or what the hell the word is, but I don't love seeing Jane Lynch in a dress. I want her to rock a suit, because she totally, totally would. I am going to seize this break to clean up because I am dripping sweat. That's how HARDCORE Professional Critic is.

8:19 And we're back. Is Lauren Graham wearing a toga? Huh. No likey. This is best guest actor in a comedy and it's Betty White for her SNL appearance and Neil Patrick Harris when he was on Glee. Okay. They're rolling right into director for comedy and it's Ryan Murphy for Glee--who also directed Nip/Tuck and Eat Pray Love. He is nothing if not hard working. Wait, he's thanking Tom Ford? Whatever for? Confused. He dedicates it to his teachers, which is awesome of him. Heartwarming!

8:26 I'm lost here. Modern Family and George Clooney? Wha? Oh, I LOVE how they say LL Cool J in Spanish! El-Lay El-Lay! Best actor in a comedy. Monk is still on? Oh, upset! Who is Jim Parsons? Is he 14? I have never heard of nor seen Big Bang Theory. Natch, I think Alec should have won this.

8:35 It's Neil Patrick Harris, who always looks so classy. It's lead actress in a comedy. Why is Tina mouthing "asshole number 3?" Oh, no. Edie Falco did not have this coming. And she agrees! She says, "This is the most ridiculous thing that's ever happened to me! I'm not funny!" It should have been Amy Poehler. The second season of Parks and Rec was outstanding.

8:38 Was that Kim Kardashian singing with Jimmy? I need to see that dress again. It looked goddess-y and could have been good. But Kim kind of looks good in everything. She has the most rocking bod ever. And here it is. Not sure. What do you think?

8:39 I don't care about reality TV so I'm taking a dinner break.

8:40 Keri Russell, that dress does not fit you up top at all! Pretty color, though. The show you are doing with Will Arnett looks like it's going to be bad. Sorry I have nothing nice to say, Keri Russell.

8:44 Back with dinner, but what in the sam hell is going on? It's some montage. Oh, I can think of something nice to say about Keri Russell! I liked her short hair from Felicity a hundred years ago. Which reminds me! You know who else cut her hair off and looks freaking fantastic? Emma Watson, the girl who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies. Very Mia Farrow pixie, adorable.

8:47 On to the dramas. Oh lord, Grey's Anatomy is the worst! This better not win anything. Law and Order? Is this a joke? Mad Men, better. The Good Wife is decent. Wait, are all these nominees? That can't be right. I have never seen Lost. Oh, I get it, just a drama overview. Okay, what is the Emmys fascination with Mariska Hargitay? She seems like a lovely person but her acting is pretty rote. Never seen Friday Night Lights but I should. I will admit that it's about football is a giant turnoff. Should I get over it? It's Mad Men for best director! It's a great show. Matt Weiner is such a giant dork. Love.

8:55 Best support actor, drama. This better be Aaron Paul though John Slattery is also fantastic as Roger Sterling. Yay!! Aaron Paul takes it and very correctly gives mad props to the insanely good writing and directing. Bryan Cranston looks so proud and teary. Srsly reader, if you haven't seen Breaking Bad yet, you are missing out. This is right up there with The Wire and Deadwood.

9:04 We're back. Jimmy Fallon blathering on. I don't really like him. Too much smirking at his own jokes. It's best supporting actress in a drama, oh no, two Mad Men ladies up against each other. WHAT? Archie Panjabi for The Good Wife? Oh, the injustice. Mad Men SNUB! Archie is stunning, however. Wasn't she in Bend it Like Beckham a thousand years ago?

9:08 Edie Falco presenting. I do love her even though she did NOT deserve her win AT ALL. This is best actor in a drama. Stiff competition--Mad Men, Dexter and Breaking Bad. Oh, so weird that Dexter is married to his show-sister. Forgot about that. Bryan Cranston takes it!

Breaking Bad sweeps actor awards! I think this might be his third year in a row taking best actor. Is that his wife in the yellow? She's not going to be very happy when she watches tape of this and sees her boobs falling out of that dress. Bryan also gives props to creator Vince Gilligan, who absolutely deserves it. Actually, he should win something. Maybe he did, while I was out.

9:19 Recommending the Salty Dog Chocolate Bar by B.T. McElrath. Dark choc with toffee pieces and sea salt. Yumzo. Okay, where the hell is the damn Emmy stream? I am ready to be done with this so I can take a shower. I do not smell good. It's just commercial after commercial, en espanol. No entiendo.

Okay, guest actress. Ooh wee, Sissy Spacek was excellent in Big Love! I don't understand this category. Some of these actors were regulars, what makes them "guests?" Well, John Lithgow takes it for his turn on Dexter as the something or other killer. Trinity? And Ann Maraget for I don't know what. I'm going to take this opportunity to say that whoever the presenter is, she looks pretty but her dress is a little boring.

Oh, are these writers? The episode "One Minute" from Season 3 of Breaking Bad was such a freaking nail biter! I was screaming. It's Steve Shill for Dexter for the win. Oh, it's directing. I can feel good about this. Dexter is a really good show.

9:31 Is this the montage for dead people? No, dead shows. It's Jimmy as Elton at a coral piano wearing a suit made out of grandma wallpaper singing about the end of 24. Do not care. Tuning out to the rest of this bit.

Doing some googling during the break. Vince Gilligan hasn't been nominated for anything since 2008. Now that's some effed up shizz right there. Right there!

9:40 Jimmy Fallon is channeling Ricardo Montebaln in that white suit. Kyra Sedgewick takes Best Actress in a drama for The Closer. I do like that show and I think she is perfect in the role. However the competition here overall is somewhat uninspiring.

On to variety. Which sounds like Donny and Marie or the Sonny and Cher Show. This category is kind of a mishmash. I don't want to see awards shows nominated in other awards shows. It's too self-referential. And the Emmy goes to the Tonys ... bleargh.

10:06 Yikes, lost the stream. Found another one but it looks like George Clooney again and movie-mini series. Professional Critic is denied. But here's the opening which made me like Jon Hamm even more, if that's possible.