Attend Traffic School with Professional Critic, Part I

Reader, you may have heard about my recent brush with the law as I raced to TJ Maxx. Well, Jesus was right, I did hear from the court soon after that with my citation. So I wrote the Superior Court a check for (ouch) $305. Reader, be ye careful on windy roads in small affluent crime-free towns, as the cops have precious little to do and will pull your ass over.

Because this was my first speeding ticket and I was going less than 20 miles per hour over the speed limit, I am doing online traffic school to get the point off my record or something like that and guess what?! I have already learned something!! It is against the law to: Smoke a cigarette, pipe, or cigar when a minor is inside the vehicle, whether the vehicle is on or off. The fine can be up to $100.00. (California Health & Safety Code Section 118948)

Was this true in the 70s? I don't think so. What should have been illegal but also probably wasn't: Dad smoking a pipe while Mom smoked a cigarette and painted her nails in the car. They deserved every upchuck I ever gave them. Sorry, sisters.

Also, pay attention: NEVER let your car roll down a hill.

Aren't you a better driver already? I know I am. Stay tuned for additional helpful driving tips as I make my way through this course over the next few weeks.

Apropos of nothing, here's a baby clouded leopard from my new favorite website, ZooBorns:



Baby otter goes nigh nigh in crook of arm:



Really, I could do this all day. How about this: every time I post about riveting traffic school, I will reward us all with some bebeh animal pictures that will make you grit your teeth with adorableness?

It's a deal.