Celebrity Trash Round-Up

Reader, I've been seriously remiss. It's been eons since I've posted on the comings and goings of Hollywood and as a result I'm so behind the times I didn't even know that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer broke up. This is not a proud moment and I aim to set things straight right now with the celebrity trash round up.

1. Jen/John caput. Didn't we see this coming? Frankly John Mayer seems like an asshole and she's better off.

2. Ellen and Portia get hitched. Congrats!

3. Lots of celebs dying way before their time. Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes and today LeRoi Moore, the 46 year old saxophonist for the Dave Matthews Band. Enough of this already.

4. After being married for an impressive eight weeks, Chris Kattan and his new wife are separating. I have to agree with Perez on this one, I get homogay vibe from him.

5. Faced with a breast cancer diagnosis and the knowledge that she carries the BRCA1 gene, linked to breast and ovarian cancer, Christina Applegate opted for a double mastectomy. Since her recovery, Christina has started a program to help woman access expensive screening tests, like MRIs. Talk about making lemonade, more power to you Miz Applegate.

6. The next cycle of America's Next Top Model features a tranny! For reasons that are not clear to me, there is no "plus size" girl this cycle. I guess we can only have one deviation from standard-anorexic-girl-model at a time. Oh well. You know I'll be watching.

7. Super cute and whip smart Rachel Maddow now has her own MSNBC show. 'Bout time.

8. Oy. That Kate Hudson is hard to keep up with. After dropping Owen for Lance, then breaking up with Lance, she may have gone back to Owen. Girlfriend needs a break.

9. Gwyneth is under fire for appearing in a new Tod's ad campaign featuring many leather and fur items. On one hand, whatever, but on the other hand she does sort of have the reputation of being a bit holier than thou about her macro/vegan/Pilates lifestyle. It's not super clear how a fox coat fits with that.

That's it, reader. I guess I haven't missed too much. Happy hump day!