Swiff It Good

Reader, you may recall that my disinterest in housework knows no bounds. I don't care if my shelves are dusty, my tub ringed, water spots speckle the toothbrush holder. I prefer that there not be cat litter in the bed, but I'll carry on if there is.

I have two cats living with me, who are incredibly messy. They throw litter out of the (covered) litterbox, deposit hair, whiskers and nail hulls at an alarming rate, toss their food all over creation. A few weeks back, I finally succumbed to the Swiffer. I resisted this for so long because it's disposable, expensive and why not just mop? But after spending what felt like forever mopping my kitchen floor one day only to have Gus muck it up later that day with wet food and a poop smear, I thought I am never mopping that fucking floor again. And bought a Swiffer the next day.

First I dry Swiffed. It worked fairly well; cat hair did cling to it as promised. But I still had to use the dust pan at the end as the bigger crumbs of cat food and litter didn't. The experience overall was marginally better than sweeping but wasn't transformational.

On to the wet Swiffer, which is basically a giant baby wipe that you attach to a mop head. This experience wasn't quite as happy. To begin, it smells simply awful. Like chemical-y room air freshener in "spring rain" scent which never smells neither remotely springy nor like rain. Why doesn't Simple Green or CitraSolve make these? Secondly, it seemed to leave behind a somewhat greasy film.

Alas, reader, Swiffer is not the magic answer to my sloth-ly housekeeping or my slobbini kittehs.


And proud of it