Friday, August 28, 2009

Love is in the Air

Reader, I generally give my love life wide berth on this blog. There's plenty to whinge about without trawling through that, frankly. But today I received an email through an online dating website that was just too good to keep to myself. Here it is in all its bizarre glory, though I've done some censoring to protect the identity of the wackanoodle writer.

How are you doing and how about your family and work? I like what i see and what your profile has to say. I am have been living in [an east coast city] although am originally from [European country]. I latter traveled to [a different European country] when it seems i was being affected by the Global economic down melt and was able to get some great jobs here. I have many companies that i service their oil and gas pumps.Having been in [east coast city], i want to get back to America because America is where i would like to be for the rest of my life.But before coming back to America, i would like to hook up with the right person, the right woman...lol a woman to grow old with me, a woman to love and beloved...A woman that has good understanding, caring and lovely. A woman with good sense of humor because i have great sense of humor as well.Such a woman with me will ever live to testify what a true relationship i because i am ready to carry my woman as my baby...my laps shall always be her bed and resting place receiving millions of kisses always from me.Have love dance together mostly under rain in the yard...lol We can even party together to shake our ass off provided we get back with it...silly me. Have a lovely night as i hope to hear from you.


Are there words? I didn't have any, initially. How did this guy know it's always been a dream of mine to be carried as a baby or to sit in his laps? Then I ended up thinking this must be the dating equivalent of emails from Nigerian businessmen seeking investors. Can't imagine he gets too many responses, but a lid for every pot etc.

3 comments:

april m. said...

no words.
trying to come from a strength based place to comment.
can't pull it out.
doodlewack's come in all sizes and grammatical abilities.
he can has laugh on lady laps.

cripes.

Professional Critic said...

You know it's bad when you can't find any strengths to point out. How about, very optimistic? Very clear about what he wants? Undeterred by "reality?"

Anonymous said...

he sounds perfect for you