Friday, January 09, 2009

Three Alarms

Reader, I despair. Will Oakland ever make the news for anything good? You may have heard about, or even seen video footage of the awful and so far completely inexplicable fatal shooting of an unarmed subdued passenger by transit police on New Year's Day. Last night saw a splinter group of a peaceful protest turn violent, destroying cars and several business in an already fragile downtown.

The chaos continued tonight. Business owners on the evening news reported that after a terrible Christmas retail season, they could ill afford the property damage sustained over two nights. Meanwhile, the family of the slain man urged people to protest peacefully while the officer suddenly resigned without making a statement about what the frick happened on that train platform. I don't know why they can't drag him into a precint and threaten him the way David Caruso does on CSI Miami all the time.

I share the frustration of the protesters but feel pretty sure that destroying black owned businesses in downtown Oakland and setting taxpayer-funded police cars on fire isn't going to accomplish anything other than pissing off people outraged by this senseless death and sympathetic to the peaceful protesters. It seems like a big group temper tantrum. Looking forward to some answers, soon.

Besides OPD cop cars, the Kings of Leon know what else is on fire: your sex. Sorry I can't embed this video, it's disabled everywhere. Weak. Anyway I had very high hopes for this awesomely titled song, which were not realized watching the redonk video. Wonder how the director conveyed his vision to the lead singer "... so I'm obsessed with your hot hot sex ... and I'm trying to kick it ... which makes me think about a fluffy black chicken ... and writhe on a bed while my buddies hold me down ... and then I eat the chicken ... and reenact the shower scene from Flashdance ... and cough up feathers." WTF? However, I will do my very best to weave "your sex is on fire" into everyday conversation because that is such a great phrase without getting fired. Could be tricky. Specially cause I don't work at an STD clinic.

Our third alarm rings for Richard Simmons, letting his flame roar on CNN:

TGIF, reader.

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