Back from Hiatus

I'm back after an unplanned break. My mom died unexpectedly on Christmas. While I was back east I was incredibly unsettled. I kept having the feeling that I was forgetting something but I couldn't put my finger on what. Then I realized it was my mom--we were all together, so she should have been there, too. Even as we were driving to the funeral home, I thought wait! We left without mom! Looking at her laying in the coffin we picked out thinking,This is ridiculous. Get up already, you big drama queen. Yesterday I reached for the phone to call her. I know from Nanny's death less than two years ago that this goes on for a long time, so I guess I'm settling in for the long haul of grief.

In the midst of life we are in death. Before, I only knew this as a line from the Smith's song Sweet and Tender Hooligan. It's actually from the Book of Common Prayer. You probably knew this but I'm an unschooled heathen in the ways of religion. These words struck especially true for me as two days before my mom died I brought these guys home from the animal shelter. Meet Josephine, on the left and Gus:

It helps to have these little nutcases running around my head and attacking my feet.