Oh No They Didn't

From The Onion:

"This Week: Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays."

Oh yes they did.

And this:

There's No More Reassuring Voice In Retirement Planning Than Dennis Hopper

There's no denying it anymore: I'm getting to that point in my life where I should start thinking seriously about my retirement. I'll be living on a fixed income, so careful management of my assets will be crucial. That's why Dennis Hopper's television spots for Ameriprise Financial are so reassuring. Retirement planning means a lot of decision making, and thank God I have the soothing presence of that amyl nitrate–huffing, obscenity-screaming, psychosexual lunatic from Blue Velvet to guide me through it.

There's more, but you get the picture. No, I don't think I'll write anything original today. Ta ta.