Professional Critic, Hopelessly Behind the Times!

Did everyone in the Western world know that Jodie Foster has had the same girlfriend for ten years except for me? Thank you for showing me the light, Perez Hilton! I can't thank you quite as much for the endless pictures of Britney Spears' vagine, but in life we must take the good with the bad. No, I did not have to actually look at the uncensored version but of course I did. Shush now, because I know you will, too.

Recently, I took an online personality test, sort of an abbreviated version of the Meyer's Briggs which I took in grad school. The online version was more fun and included catchier types. In grad school I was the Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judger (INTJ). Boring. But now, I am "The Expert."

You are the most independent and strong-willed (some might say stubborn) of all the Types. Once you make up your mind to do something - whether it’s starting or ending a relationship, or anything in between - you will do what you want to do. And God help anyone who tries to dissuade you.

Hmm, no ... doesn't ring a bell. Go on ...

You, Ms. or Mr. Expert (only 2 percent of society), are a deep thinker who is always analyzing your relationships and asking the question: does this person fit my detailed design of what an ideal mate should be like? Often the answer is “no,” because your capacity for creating the blueprint for this “perfect mate” often exceeds your ability to find him or her in the real world. Competence and intelligence are two of the most important qualities you look for in a mate. You admire someone who is well-educated and successful in his or her chosen field. Although you prefer someone whose intellect is as sharp as yours, you may fall in love with someone who is not your intellectual equal. When this happens, you may always have that nagging doubt in the back of your mind: “Is this person smart enough for me?”

Are the people that know me laughing their asses off right now? Shush, now. Eespecially if you happen to be my older sister who I strongly suspect is The Expert as well. We recently discussed how hard it is to let go of being right, which is often required for being happy. Damn it.