Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Post Inaugural Breakdown

1. Goodbye, Bush. I won't miss you at all. Since you're barely able to string three coherent words together, I don't know that you'll be in much demand on the speaking circuit, so enjoy your retirement. Which shouldn't look too different from the last eight years. One tip: if you do invite friends to the ranch, it's considered a mark of poor hosting to shoot them in the face.

2. Dang Obama, was it really worth ruffling so many queer + lady feathers by asking the homophobic, anti-choice Rick Warren to give your invocation? Because he sucked. Your eleventh-hour, B-list invite Gene Robinson did a much better job, delivering a message more akin to your own:

3. Though Obama's speech lacked the loft and soar we've come to associate with him, I thought he did a great job of laying out the task ahead of us, being very clear that he would be leading the country in a different direction.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.

Our founding fathers faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations.

Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.

And so, to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions.

They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use. Our security emanates from the justness of our cause; the force of our example; the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy, guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations.

You can get the whole speech here.

4. Michelle looked fabulous in her modern Jackie O day ensemble:

I was a little meh about the ballgown, but she looked lovely, and more importantly was glowing with happiness as she danced with her husband as Beyonce crooned.

5. Could those girls be cuter?

6. NPR, we love your political dice/chop but when you start the fashion commentary, oy. I do appreciate the effort but if you don't know the difference between "mustard" and "butter," which are so NOT EVEN CLOSE, you are really out of your league.

7. This has nothing to do with the inauguration but I was over at Go Fug Yourself looking for some pics and I saw this. Could this be the hotness who set my loins aflame in Quills, as he desperately tried to not have sex with Kate Winslet? This does not compute.


april m. said...


Professional Critic said...

Post inaugural roll-over of joy? That's damn cute.

Anonymous said...

hey professional critic. you are an amazing writer. thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with the world!


Professional Critic said...

Thanks for visiting!